Friday, August 22, 2014

Birth/First Moms: Do you have an adopted child?

Moms, when you speak of your interest in adoption are you ever asked these two questions?:

  • Are you an adoptive parent?
  • Are you adopted?
It happens to me often because of my activism and because I am an author. When I am asked these questions it is almost always JUST THESE TWO questions. 

The third, and correct, option that makes adoption of personal interest to me is never considered....or is it that I don't fit the stereotype of a teenager or drug addict or impoverished woman?

I usually use it as an education moment. But today I was asked by the neighborhood gossip and just answered NO to both questions. But the I got to thinking...

She did not ask if i was an adoptive parent, she asked if I had an adopted child. .If she asked if I was an adoptive mother, that requires no thinking. 

But I'm a very literal person and I was asked if I have (had) an adopted child. Did I? Do you?

All of us have children who were adopted. Does that mean we have children who are adopted??

In a sense yes.

Do you ever say that you have a child who was "adopted out"? Do you hate that phrase? is it as bad as "given up" for adoption - a phrase which BTW was used on the fairly new TV show "MOM."


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